http://www.crazybananas.com/two-years-experience-strength-hope/
You see, today is my birthday.
You might be wondering why this birthday didn’t come up on your Facebook feed or on your CALENDAR
. But this isn’t that kind of birthday. Two years ago today, my entire life changed. I didn’t know it at the time. Honestly, at the time I felt like my life was going to crash down around me. But looking back, I can say that today was the best day of my life. Because today is the day I chose to stop hiding, stop numbing and start living my life again.
. But this isn’t that kind of birthday. Two years ago today, my entire life changed. I didn’t know it at the time. Honestly, at the time I felt like my life was going to crash down around me. But looking back, I can say that today was the best day of my life. Because today is the day I chose to stop hiding, stop numbing and start living my life again.
Today I am a person in long term recovery, which for me means it’s been two years since my last drink of alcohol. Two years since I decided that numbing myself at night to DEAL with my life wasn’t a healthy way to CONTINUE living. I think many of us have been there…working parents, overstressed, overworked and under appreciated. For me, I felt like I was constantly running, with no finish line in site. No matter how hard I worked or how much I loved my family, I felt like I could never get my head above water. I was drowning.
with my life wasn’t a healthy way to CONTINUE living. I think many of us have been there…working parents, overstressed, overworked and under appreciated. For me, I felt like I was constantly running, with no finish line in site. No matter how hard I worked or how much I loved my family, I felt like I could never get my head above water. I was drowning.
For a long time, I used alcohol to deal with this stress and constant feeling of overwhelm. I felt like I “deserved it” because I worked so hard. I did so much for everyone else, so why shouldn’t I get to relax at the end of the day? Well, that’s all well and good, until you can no longer relax without that glass clinking in front of you…and before I knew it, the glass had turned into two and then three and so on.
When I think about this day two years ago, I remember feeling hopeless. I felt so alone, like this huge problem was sitting on my shoulders and I had to carry it all alone. I was ashamed and afraid. I knew I couldn’t go on like I had been, but I didn’t know how to stop. I had no coping skills without wine. Wine was how I celebrated, how I cried, how I relaxed. But I knew it had to stop, or it would only get worse. For me, there was no way up as long as I kept drinking.
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http://www.crazybananas.com/two-years-experience-strength-hope/
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